Tuesday, April 29, 2008

How We Dress at Church

My wife and I had dinner with one of our elders and his wife last night. During the conversation, he asked me what I thought about him wearing biker clothes to worship services. Once or twice a year, he attends Harley events on Sunday afternoons and since he lives about 30 minutes out in the country, he comes to worship dressed to go on to the biker rally. I'm talking about studded leather jacket, head rag, the whole deal (he does take off the headgear before worship begins). I answered his question quickly and truthfully, "It doesn't bother me a bit."

The casual style of dress here in northwest Washington is different from the way I was brought up. As a child I lived on a farm in north Alabama. Customary attire for farmers in the 1950s and 1960s was overalls. In my world, that is the way men dressed Mondays through Saturdays. On Sundays, they wore suits and ties -- at least the ones who went to church did. As a teenager, I moved to a working-class suburban neighborhood. Overalls were traded for blue or khaki Dickies' work clothes, but otherwise the same rules applied. Men wore work clothes through the week and suit and tie to church on Sunday.

Now that has all changed in many places. Churches who value the tradition of having the Lord's Supper served by men wearing ties often struggle to find enough participants. Churches which don't impose that dress requirement frequently feature people in tee shirts or shirt tails hanging out. I can't say that I've seen communion served by anyone in biker garb, but it's not out of the question.

This reflects changing attitudes about dress in our culture. Business people are clothed much less formally than a generation ago, and not just on "Casual Fridays." Even President Bush is often seen without a tie. Can anyone imagine Richard Nixon making a speech without wearing a tie? It's a different world.

Personally, I'm still a traditionalist at heart. I'm still a suit-and-tie guy, at least for Sunday morning worship. I think it looks better -- but I recognize that is just my opinion.

It is always dangerous when we start taking our opinions and making them mandatory for other Christians. I don't always agree with Ray Hawk, but I do say a hearty "Amen" to a recent post in his blog on this subject. When our emphasis on how people dress makes guests and newcomers feel uncomfortable or unwelcome, the approach quickly starts to do more harm than good. Here's the heart-of-the-matter question: If people are coming to worship services not dressed "appropriately," would you rather they come dressed "inappropriately" or not come at all?

That is not a hard question for anyone who cares about souls.

4 comments:

John Gaines said...

A friend replied to this post on the GPTalk email discussion list. I want to quote a portion of my reply to him:

The same desire [to avoid offending anyone in the church] might cause us to "dress up" a little more than we ordinarily would simply to keep peace and good will in the congregation. However, I'm adamant that such a decision ought to be made by the individual within his own realm of liberty rather than being imposed on him against his will be others in the congregation trying to dictate a dress code for everyone else.

Of course, preachers may be a special case. I had a preacher friend in Florida whose elders required him to wear dress shirt and tie to the office and wherever else he went during his work day. Employers have that right so he could not really argue, although he did chafe at the restriction. I questioned him enough to learn that the impetus for that requirement came from one particular elder who came from a military background and was very conscious of having everything done in the "proper" way.

I think you are exactly right that things like this need to be handled delicately because we do have to deal with a clash of cultures with regard to opinions about what makes for proper dress on different occasions. Love and consideration for one another ought to guide us rather than a desire to get our own way.

Kathy said...

Shortly after I read your post, I started reading in the first chapter of Malachi. Related or not, this thought arose: Would it be inappropriate for the elder spoken of to wear "church clothes" (if there is such a thing) to a Harley event?

Maybe a person should dress for church in the very same way he would dress for a good friend's traditional wedding. Some would wear jeans no matter what, but others would feel the need to show their respect for the occasion/person by wearing a very nice suit. Of course, if the potential suit-wearer lost his luggage on the way to the wedding, he just might show up anyway in his dirty, wrinkled traveling clothes, since his presence would be much more important than what he had on :-)

John Gaines said...

I experienced the situation you mention in your last sentence earlier this year when I visited family back in Alabama. I had flown flown from Seattle to Birmingham wearing jeans. It was a Wednesday and I arrived at my sister's house just in time to leave for Wednesday night church services. I went on to church wearing jeans and a casual shirt. This congregation is still much more formal in atmosphere than the one I described in the post. I was asked to lead prayer, which I did, but I felt very uncomfortable on the platform dressed so casually while the announcement-maker, songleader, and numerous other men in the auditorium that night were dressed in coats and ties.

In any case, when we are dressed considerably different from almost everybody else, we stand out and draw attention to ourselves. That is really the definition of immodesty. A coat and tie (or a dressy dress for a woman) can be "immodest" in that sense when everyone else is dressed very casually -- and vice versa.

Thanks for reading my blog and for the comment.

tootlepip said...

I have struggled with this one much. I can't help but wonder what Jesus would think of all of this. Should we purchase "Go to Church" clothes when our worship should be 24/7 who are we really dressing up for? God or man?
I found your blog through Carmen Garrison's. We live in WA too are members of the Lord's church.